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Five Stages of Drunkenness...

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    • Jun 2002
    • 4978

    Five Stages of Drunkenness...

    Stage 1 - SMART

    This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the
    known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your
    knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always
    RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

    Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING

    This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

    Stage 3 - RICH

    This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck
    full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this
    stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will
    win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet because you are
    RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because
    now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

    Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF

    You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners
    of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

    Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

    This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART, you know all the words.
    ......if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off......